commiepup: for some reason i read that “tumblr is worth $1 bil” as tumblr is worth 1 dollar bill and i thought “yeah”
fefairi: when you really want to talk to your friends but you cant bring yourself to message them because you dont want to be a bother
rabioheab: earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
internetmessiah: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
laufeeyson: Describe a character really badly in my ask and I’ll try to guess who it is.
mowwwg: “you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!” the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
the-vashta-nerada: my older sister is getting a law degree but she needs to have extra classes that aren’t related to law to complete it so she’s taking tree climbing 101 as in a class that teaches you how to climb trees let’s talk about the american education system
Words to keep inside your pocket: Quiescent - a quiet, soft-spoken soul. Chimerical - merely imaginary; fanciful. Susurrus - a whispering or rustling sound. Raconteur - one who excels in story-telling. Clinquant - glittering; tinsel-like. Aubade - a song greeting the dawn. Ephemeral - lasting a very short time. Sempiternal - everlasting; eternal. Euphonious - pleasing; sweet in...
im gonna be so hot next year and everyones gonna be like why did we ignore her last year and ill have to make a chart so i can spend equal time with all my boyfriends
never eat watermelon after eating choclate csake
sydthe-sloth: Musical chairs: destroying friendships and causing anxiety attacks since the 1600s
snarg: truth or dare more like preform a strange sexual act or tell me who you like
its-a-bingo: i found presidential fan fiction I’m really distressed
spotifylistener: when i have a kid i’m going to make his middle name “lazy” or something so that when ppl yell at him like “holy frick you’re so lazy” he can just be like “yeah well lazy’s my middle name” and swag the fuck outta there
youaresogayskarth: michael jones (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ michael jones with glasses (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ michael jones with no glasses (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ michael jones with long hair (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ michael jones with short hair (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ michael jones with a beanie (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ michael jones smiling (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ michael jones beating the shit out of gavin (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧